Ummm... breathe in, breathe out. So today is a great day to try some meditation. Need to stay calm they say, absolutely no stress they say. Be relaxed so you are ready for surgery. Stress can contribute to feeding cancer and helping it grow. Ok, ok I think I understand... you need me to be calm.
Then maybe you shouldnt tell me I have a grade3 (fast growing) cancer and I need surgery asap, but wait... your surgery date is in 8 WEEKS. Say what? What? Are you sure ? I asked the doctor at our Jul 29 appt and he wasnt happy waiting 4wks now its 8wks. So I am then told, actually the doctor is NOT happy at all. Again, stay calm when the doctor isnt happy and wants me in sooner. You are really challenging me. Is this a test, to see if I can keep myself calm, maybe thats it, its a test? No, I am told I am still listed as urgent and will be on the waitlist if something comes up sooner. Ok... I get it, I understand my challenge. I hate surprises, I hate not knowing or being preparred. My challenge to learn how to handle surprises.
Oh cancer, you really are trying to pick at my weakness and fears. But cancer you forgot once I know what I am facing then I make a plan, and execute it. Guess I know what I am doing today... eating chocolate, oops no that is not part of my meal plan ( old habits are so hard to break). No, what I am doing today is staying CALM and looking forward to a surprise call sooner than 8wks.
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