Remembrance

Update... I realized that is has been almost a month since I have posted anything. The good news is I have completed 19 treatments so far. So that means 6 more external then we move on to internal. The internal can only be done once a week so it will take 3 wks to complete. We then begin chemo. Crossing our fingers that they will wait until after Christmas but happy to start whenever they choose. I am still driving and it takes 3hrs a day (the drive is 2hrs) and they said I can still drive with internal. I have been listening to Katy Perry's new song "Roar" on my drive, love it! I also listen to classical music to get me mellowed out before getting to the hospital so I have been given the gift of music again. Trying to remember what it is giving me (this disease that is) instead of what it is trying to take away. It definately challenges me and my family but we are determined to fight hard. However I said I would treat this as my new job, I am doing that and I do arrive on time and am taking the suggestions from the medical team on how to deal with side effects. Honestly though this is far from my dream job... really far (haha). I miss my old job. It really is work, the side effects are the part I dont enjoy but I am sure every job has a down side. Oh ya they don't pay me at my new job. That is a downside too... haha I really should have asked more questions in the interview.

Today is Remembrance Day and as we remember I think of the battles they fought and realize what I owe them... the chance to fight another day. Thinking of the family we have lost and honoring those that continue to fight. What a gift we have been given all because of others sacrifices.  Freedom.

Hugs xoxo

Radiation begins...

Good Morning,
It feels like a good morning for me, treatment begins. So as I see it this is like starting a new job. Essentially I have a new job and it is Cancer. There are some simalarities to my actual job and this "new" one such as the drive. Actually I much prefer driving to Priddis , the scenery is amazing and it is so peaceful abd only 40min. The daily drive to the hospital is 1.5hrs and well... the scenery is traffic. If I were at my other job I would be drinking coffee  but here at Tom Baker I drink this contrast water ( kinda like chlorine). If I were at Priddis I would be paying the bills and recording payments, here at Tom Baker I am waiting for forms to be signed by doctors. So although  there are some simalarities there are also some differences. For instance at my "real" job I am expected to dress business casual here at Tom Baker I spend  most of my time  naked. Yes I know you are thinking...what kind of job did I say I had? It is Cancer, leave your dignity at the door...haha. So my job descriptions are also quite different... at Priddis I take care of A/R, A/P, all cash processing, answer phones and process all grats for staff. New job... I get treatment, manage side effects, stay positive, exercise and eat healthy.

So you see it was just like starting any other new job, I picked out an outfit to wear, packed my lunch and water bottle and headed off. Yes if I am being honest I am a little nervous ... but who isnt when they start a new job ( or when they are radioactive... haha). But really I am exciting cause I am fighting and will apply the same hard work and dedication to this job as I do my real job. I will show up early, and do what needs doing all with a smile on my face.

So I must get back to work as this is my lunch break and I need to get back to work.

I appriciate all the support , hugs xoxo

Results are in...

Thank you everyone for your support it has and continues to mean so much to us. It was a very long day and I apologize for not posting last night but after getting home we crashed. Our goal was to be healthy enough to do treatment and that is what we are. I was given a diagnosis of Stage 2 and that means we can do treatment. I knew because it had spread before surgery and so quickly that we were not stage 1 but there was a possibility that if it spread in the last 5 wks again that it would be stage 4 that was a fear but did not happen. Yay!!!

After 3 yes 3 internal exams ( not sure how that was for my husband to witness) from my oncoligist, the head radiologist and a student since it is a teaching hospital. Then they discussed options of treatment but first our Dr told us he was happy to say no new growths. Whewwwww. John and I took a breath for the first time in weeks, months really.

The cancer is still there but on a microscopic level. Sarcoma is tricky and likes to hide and attach so yes there is a risk if it attacking again so we are attacking it agressivley with treatment. They as John would say are going after it "all gunz a blazin". Next week I get more Ct scans, bloodwork, etc then I begin the next battle. I will do 5 wks of daily external radiation then 1 wk of internal radiation followed by chemo every 2 wks for 6 months. Over 7 months of treatment... Look out cancer. Alot of zapping should beat it and kill it. Cant say I will miss it once it is gone. Say goodbye cancer we are going in for the kill.

The treatment also kills healthy cells so there will be side effects but good news is eventually health cells will repair themselves. So I will keep as healthy and rested as possible. I will deal with things as they come. I know I will be exhausted and I may lose my hair, my nails, I may sleep some days all day but hair grows back and so will I. I will be better and stronger than ever.

Although we will never know the future we now know that we can plan one. Whewww!!! Yes we had to discuss and plan for a stage 4 diagnosis too and although it was painful it was necessary. It gave us the chance to discuss  living our life and dreams. What we wanted for our family. A second chance at life really.

We knew that it was going to be a marathon not a sprint. I have healed well from surgery and  will bounce back from treatment just as succsessfully. Thanks to the love and support we have recieved.

Xoxo

Today I am off to get a tooth pulled, the dentist couldnt touch me till I stopped the blood thinners.

Our vision board

We are focusing on keeping positive. We made a vision board today. We included HEALTH as a focus but also included some other really important visions. We put FAMILY, home, travel with visions of Las Vegas and Disneyland and closer to home Vancouver and interior BC. We added Triumph, Long Life, Happiness, Laughter and Celebrate. For fun we also added... Millionaire, cash & prizes figured it couldn't hurt... Haha.

Then we decorated for fall which was entertaining and good for some laughter too. See we decorated with some hay bales and plastic pumpkins then realized today was a windy day. Hay and pumpkins all over... Haha. We made a craft about giving thanks. We are going to add a new thank you everyday. We will post a thank you Thursday after our appt... Thank you for good news, fingers crossed. Now to get my Doctor, Nurses and Patholigist on the same page as us. I can be very persuasive... Just ask my husband. :-)

So much living, loving and giving for us to do and such a wonderful future ahead. We are creating a new path filled with happy memories.

Thank you to our family and friends for your support.
Hugs xoxo

NEW date

Got a new appt date for next Thursday. Thanks to Heather and Dayna for helping out.

We stayed focused and positive today by doing another Terry Fox walk at Georgia's school. G took off running, I walked it was so awesome everyone was doing the run/walk and students cheerleading all along the way. After there was a band, and a party at the school. It was the perfect afternoon.
Thanks to my amazing daughter for her positive energy. Thanks to Charlotte for walking with me and Myra for running for me at her school.
So very blessed I am.
We were able Hugs
Xoxo

FRUSTRATED...

So I was to finally get my results tomorrow. I have kept busy all week trying to get to Thursday... Then I get a call today. Appointment for tomorrow is cancelled. What? I went to a healing touch appt yesterday and tried to keep busy today. I am starting to go crazy waiting for results. Need to know what we are facing. But no control so... We WAIT. I will keep positive do some meditation and wait. Aghhhh. Ok that was my vent. Cannot be stressed or feel stressed so I will move forward.

Thanks for the support.
Hugs:)

Times like this...

This weekend is the Terry Fox run. We are doing it. Although we were not given the ok to run since it is too soon after surgery. We are going to walk the 2k. He was truly an inspiration and he was 1 man trying to make a difference. I remember Mom and I doing the Terry Fox run after Dad died and the feelings even as a kid about what he  (Terry Fox) accomplished, how amazing. When explaining my cancer to Georgia she seemed to understand. Then one day she overheard me on the phone saying I had sarcoma like Terry Fox. When I got off the phone she said Mommy... Are you going to die like Terry Fox? Hard question for a little girl to ask and me to answer. But instead we talked about what Terry Fox did, what he accomplished for cancer research. We talked about how we can make a difference in the world and how miracles can happen. Kids learn about Terry Fox journey every year and they participate in the run. It has been taking place for over 30 years. So important to share stories of heros with our kids. I think it helped her understand our diagnosis.

So our family will walk tomorrow to help us believe and show our daughter what miracles look like.
Xoxo