Bald Eagle...

Tomorrow is 3wks since my first treatment and that is how long it took to lose my hair. Kinda relieved as my head was very sore and tender and once it started to fall out it was fast. For once it wasnt the dogs leaving hair all over, it was me. It was everywhere... the sink, the floor, my clothes ... Haha it was quite funny really. So the last few strands John shaved so we could be done. Otherwise all is better. I am doing bloodwork this week and will go renew my meds. Then ready to go again on Feb 3. Luckily I am able to go to High River hospital which is much closer.

Thanks always for all the support. Hugs xoxo

Chemo....

Well my next new job has begun. Surgery...check all good. Radiation...check all good. Chemo... Just the beginning.

Did well on Day 1 and recieving the Red Devil as its nicknamed. My nurse Megan was the best. She found a vein so there was no burning. She sat with us and pushed the chemo in by GIANT needles... Crazy.

Thanks to Megan Kowalchuk for getting G to school and Alesha for the beautiful blanket.

When we got home we were good until G got home and the anti nausea drugs wore off. So I struggled and did stay in bathroom cause I was sick. All to be expected so ok. I have an amazing absolutely amazing husband so he got G organized after school made them both dinner (I was not up for eating). He got her to bed, cleaned up after me ( the puke bucket). He had to be super careful and use gloves since its poisin for the first 48hrs. He made me mint tea took me up to bed along with gingerale, crackers and love. Not the evening in bed that movies are made of. But let me say... I never felt so loved.

So they say days 4-7 are the worst so its take things day by day for now. Most importantly 1 treatment down whoo hoo.

Hugs and thank you for your continued well wishes. I am a tough kid so I will get thru. Xoxo

No hair Don't care (ok I care a little)

So hair is gone and although G cried she did the majority of shaving. A big thanks to Lawna who came to the house and helped G do the shaving herself. Thanks to Megan for the wonderful earrings, scarves and hat. We were so lucky to have Grandparents here to occupy G it really helped her and us. G has been rubbing my head and is waiting till it is completely gone. Sometime over the next 2 wks.

I have worn my blonde wig out a couple times but who knew so hot (interesting when you are also dealing with hot flashes). Was supposed to be getting my brown wig fitted today but too nauseaus and groggy so maybe next week.

Funny story... John picked out a black hairpiece for under hats. Its his favorite. We were being treated to dinner before Brian and Karen left. So G decided to help me get ready so we could surprise Daddy. We did my make up and combed out the long black hairpiece then she picked a hat to go over. We were so excited for Daddy to get home from work so he could see his wife looking good. As we are about to head downstairs... Snap... The hairpiece breaks and the hair falls to the ground. Can't say that has ever happened...haha

Asked G to give me a minute cause thought one or both of us might cry. Then I put on dark red lipstick, big earrings, the blonde wig and then rocked it down the stairs. Just apart of the journey I guess.

Hugs and as always thanks for the amazing support.

No Hair

So I have wrestled with this one. I was told without a doubt that I will lose my hair. I am ok with that, usually. It seems it can be painful so we have decided that we will buzz my hair on Sat, Dec 28th. Thought we would do it when John was off and when G was preoccupied by her Grandparents. It was also suggested the eyelashes, eyebrows will fall out in a couple weeks so G will have time to adjust to my bald head before that happens.

G seems ok with the idea but is thinking ahead and asked if I could wear a wig on her birthday so her friends dont laugh. Poor kid.

It has challenged me a bit too. And I will admit when someone say... "It is just hair" I want to scream. Its easy to say if you arent faced with losing it. I have never had short hair and not only will I be bald for at least 6months it will take a year before I will even have a pixie cut and years before it will be the length it is now. Hair is apart of your personality.

That being said I am taking this opportunity to teach my daughter that I have the confidence to stand proud. Hair or no hair. I want to show her style in other ways. Well not everyday cause hats will be a staple in my wardrobe but when I am up to it.

The positves, well there are many... No more coloring my greys, no hat head, no blow dryer or straightening iron. I will save money on shampoo, haircuts (wont need them) and time... Way less time to get ready.

So I am going to buy some hats, learn how to tie a scarf, shop for a wig and try to rock my new bald head.

Thank you for your love and support. Hugs xoxo

Progress...

We are making progress. I completed the 5wks of daily radiation and as of this Wednesday I will also have completed 3wks of internal radiation. Whoo hoo!!! I will admit I feel like I was violated but its all for a good cause. Do to some bad roads John and G came with me to treatment last week. I have gotten pretty comfortable in the hospital (and walking around in a hospital gown) but it was hard for them. G got car sick on the way home. Poor kid it is such a long drive.

During the blizzard last week I was lucky to be scheduled for my heart tests at a closer hospital. Kinda funny cause I drove thru a blizzard so my heart must have been a little elavated...haha. They take blood from you then mix it with radioactive material wait 20min then put the blood back in you. They took me into a room to discuss the procedure and sometimes keep you calm if you panic about getting the radioactive blood put in. I laughed... I am already radioactive and have been for weeks. Its all good, think I made them feel better about procedure...haha.

We are so happy that we have our first chemo date. It is Mon, Jan 6th. John will go with me. My body needs to recover a bit from all the radiation and so happy to do that during the holidays while we are surrounded by family and friends.

We have 3 friends and a family member who have lost someone to cancer this year and another friend with a family member battling. They will be facing the holidays without them. We are thinking of them at this time and counting our blessings that I can wrap my arms around my family and celebrate the season. Christmas blessing has taken on a whole new meaning.

Please know we are so thankful for all of your love and support. I will continue to fight hard as we head into this next step. Its gonna be a quick 6 months I hope. And with this crazy cold weather I will act like a bear... And hibernate.

Hugs xoxo

Remembrance

Update... I realized that is has been almost a month since I have posted anything. The good news is I have completed 19 treatments so far. So that means 6 more external then we move on to internal. The internal can only be done once a week so it will take 3 wks to complete. We then begin chemo. Crossing our fingers that they will wait until after Christmas but happy to start whenever they choose. I am still driving and it takes 3hrs a day (the drive is 2hrs) and they said I can still drive with internal. I have been listening to Katy Perry's new song "Roar" on my drive, love it! I also listen to classical music to get me mellowed out before getting to the hospital so I have been given the gift of music again. Trying to remember what it is giving me (this disease that is) instead of what it is trying to take away. It definately challenges me and my family but we are determined to fight hard. However I said I would treat this as my new job, I am doing that and I do arrive on time and am taking the suggestions from the medical team on how to deal with side effects. Honestly though this is far from my dream job... really far (haha). I miss my old job. It really is work, the side effects are the part I dont enjoy but I am sure every job has a down side. Oh ya they don't pay me at my new job. That is a downside too... haha I really should have asked more questions in the interview.

Today is Remembrance Day and as we remember I think of the battles they fought and realize what I owe them... the chance to fight another day. Thinking of the family we have lost and honoring those that continue to fight. What a gift we have been given all because of others sacrifices.  Freedom.

Hugs xoxo

Radiation begins...

Good Morning,
It feels like a good morning for me, treatment begins. So as I see it this is like starting a new job. Essentially I have a new job and it is Cancer. There are some simalarities to my actual job and this "new" one such as the drive. Actually I much prefer driving to Priddis , the scenery is amazing and it is so peaceful abd only 40min. The daily drive to the hospital is 1.5hrs and well... the scenery is traffic. If I were at my other job I would be drinking coffee  but here at Tom Baker I drink this contrast water ( kinda like chlorine). If I were at Priddis I would be paying the bills and recording payments, here at Tom Baker I am waiting for forms to be signed by doctors. So although  there are some simalarities there are also some differences. For instance at my "real" job I am expected to dress business casual here at Tom Baker I spend  most of my time  naked. Yes I know you are thinking...what kind of job did I say I had? It is Cancer, leave your dignity at the door...haha. So my job descriptions are also quite different... at Priddis I take care of A/R, A/P, all cash processing, answer phones and process all grats for staff. New job... I get treatment, manage side effects, stay positive, exercise and eat healthy.

So you see it was just like starting any other new job, I picked out an outfit to wear, packed my lunch and water bottle and headed off. Yes if I am being honest I am a little nervous ... but who isnt when they start a new job ( or when they are radioactive... haha). But really I am exciting cause I am fighting and will apply the same hard work and dedication to this job as I do my real job. I will show up early, and do what needs doing all with a smile on my face.

So I must get back to work as this is my lunch break and I need to get back to work.

I appriciate all the support , hugs xoxo