Round 2

So I am in the swing of things again. Adjusted to our new reality. I know what to expect from my double chemo weeks. I have learned to hybernate week 3 and am managing quite well.

We are so very grateful to our friends for knowing what kind of help we need. We were and are focusing on my treatment and health. Thank you for all the fundraising, auction and radio wish nomination. We fought the idea but wow not adding more stress to my husband is a true gift. We will be able to get our will done and pre plan a funeral. We are hoping to take a trip to Vancouver to show Georgia were Mommy grew up. Wow we really are speechless and feel so very blessed. We couldnt fight this fight without your love and support.

Lots of love and support to everyone. Xoxo

I better go I just finished first chemo and second kind is heading my way. Gonna sit back and pray its working to slow it down :)

Here we go again...

New job starts...this job is to SLOW cancer down. Did a new chemo last week it went well. Today I do another more challenging one. So I am up for it and ready. I am drinking my carrot ginger juice and waiting for my chauffer Bill to arrive.
I was not impressed to hear I have months if I do not respond. Not to say I am not trying to get some things in order but along with business I am getting my "I love you", "You were important to me", "You are special". So many amazing people to talk to and remember special times. Also a chance to create new memories and lots more hugs.

Gotta run pick out the perfect outfit for treatment. It needs to be comfy, have acsess for needles and drugs. Warm but not too hot. And of course I need to do my hair... HAHA.
XOXO

Cancer sucks... But we will not go down without a fight.

Well I will start by saying I love all of you. John, Georgia and I feel so blessed that we have had so much love and support during this journey. We so deeply appriciate everyone who has taken time out of their day to wish us well.

I was really hopeful that I would be updating with good news. The good news is... I am here today and fighting. I am here to tell you how much you all mean. I am here to tell you... Finally tell you want I need... I need you to keep it up. Please keep it up not for me for my AMAZING husband and daughter.

The cancer has spread to both lungs. There are muluple tumors. The cancer is stronger than the chemo. We are going to try 2 more kinds of chemo to slow it down. They say best case is 5yrs worst case months. That is not COOL with me. So I will keep fighting. We will know more in the next 6 wks.

In the meantime I am going to hug and cuddle my daughter then my husband. Then I will do my research on alternative therapy and fight like a bear (a Mother bear protecting her cub).

I will not be bitter and will show my family strength and give them the love they deserve. Please give your families cuddles and love.

Hugs xoxo

Bald Eagle...

Tomorrow is 3wks since my first treatment and that is how long it took to lose my hair. Kinda relieved as my head was very sore and tender and once it started to fall out it was fast. For once it wasnt the dogs leaving hair all over, it was me. It was everywhere... the sink, the floor, my clothes ... Haha it was quite funny really. So the last few strands John shaved so we could be done. Otherwise all is better. I am doing bloodwork this week and will go renew my meds. Then ready to go again on Feb 3. Luckily I am able to go to High River hospital which is much closer.

Thanks always for all the support. Hugs xoxo

Chemo....

Well my next new job has begun. Surgery...check all good. Radiation...check all good. Chemo... Just the beginning.

Did well on Day 1 and recieving the Red Devil as its nicknamed. My nurse Megan was the best. She found a vein so there was no burning. She sat with us and pushed the chemo in by GIANT needles... Crazy.

Thanks to Megan Kowalchuk for getting G to school and Alesha for the beautiful blanket.

When we got home we were good until G got home and the anti nausea drugs wore off. So I struggled and did stay in bathroom cause I was sick. All to be expected so ok. I have an amazing absolutely amazing husband so he got G organized after school made them both dinner (I was not up for eating). He got her to bed, cleaned up after me ( the puke bucket). He had to be super careful and use gloves since its poisin for the first 48hrs. He made me mint tea took me up to bed along with gingerale, crackers and love. Not the evening in bed that movies are made of. But let me say... I never felt so loved.

So they say days 4-7 are the worst so its take things day by day for now. Most importantly 1 treatment down whoo hoo.

Hugs and thank you for your continued well wishes. I am a tough kid so I will get thru. Xoxo

No hair Don't care (ok I care a little)

So hair is gone and although G cried she did the majority of shaving. A big thanks to Lawna who came to the house and helped G do the shaving herself. Thanks to Megan for the wonderful earrings, scarves and hat. We were so lucky to have Grandparents here to occupy G it really helped her and us. G has been rubbing my head and is waiting till it is completely gone. Sometime over the next 2 wks.

I have worn my blonde wig out a couple times but who knew so hot (interesting when you are also dealing with hot flashes). Was supposed to be getting my brown wig fitted today but too nauseaus and groggy so maybe next week.

Funny story... John picked out a black hairpiece for under hats. Its his favorite. We were being treated to dinner before Brian and Karen left. So G decided to help me get ready so we could surprise Daddy. We did my make up and combed out the long black hairpiece then she picked a hat to go over. We were so excited for Daddy to get home from work so he could see his wife looking good. As we are about to head downstairs... Snap... The hairpiece breaks and the hair falls to the ground. Can't say that has ever happened...haha

Asked G to give me a minute cause thought one or both of us might cry. Then I put on dark red lipstick, big earrings, the blonde wig and then rocked it down the stairs. Just apart of the journey I guess.

Hugs and as always thanks for the amazing support.

No Hair

So I have wrestled with this one. I was told without a doubt that I will lose my hair. I am ok with that, usually. It seems it can be painful so we have decided that we will buzz my hair on Sat, Dec 28th. Thought we would do it when John was off and when G was preoccupied by her Grandparents. It was also suggested the eyelashes, eyebrows will fall out in a couple weeks so G will have time to adjust to my bald head before that happens.

G seems ok with the idea but is thinking ahead and asked if I could wear a wig on her birthday so her friends dont laugh. Poor kid.

It has challenged me a bit too. And I will admit when someone say... "It is just hair" I want to scream. Its easy to say if you arent faced with losing it. I have never had short hair and not only will I be bald for at least 6months it will take a year before I will even have a pixie cut and years before it will be the length it is now. Hair is apart of your personality.

That being said I am taking this opportunity to teach my daughter that I have the confidence to stand proud. Hair or no hair. I want to show her style in other ways. Well not everyday cause hats will be a staple in my wardrobe but when I am up to it.

The positves, well there are many... No more coloring my greys, no hat head, no blow dryer or straightening iron. I will save money on shampoo, haircuts (wont need them) and time... Way less time to get ready.

So I am going to buy some hats, learn how to tie a scarf, shop for a wig and try to rock my new bald head.

Thank you for your love and support. Hugs xoxo